What to Look for in A Guy

Happy Valentine's Day! You are reading the second part of a two part series.  For Part I: What to Look for in A Girl

Yesterday, we talked about what to look for in a girl.  Today, we dig into what makes a man, especially the character qualities that make him a good husband.  Women usually have their "list" or desired "resume," but I thought it would be interesting to look at the qualities found in the love story from the book of Ruth, and see just what qualities Boaz had that made him irresistible. :)

The List.

1. A Nice Guy and has Kindness.  I don't think society praises enough the guy who is nice and who shows kindness to others.  A nice guy can be tough and steadfast on what he wants, but he is also encouraging, helpful and kind to others.  A man with kindness will treat his woman with gentleness, and their kids will grow up in a loving environment.  A guy who is arrogant, rude or angry will probably display those qualities in his family life. (Ruth 2:4, 13)

2. He is Diligent.  He works hard to provide, he does things himself, and he is someone who leads by doing not just by saying.  He is diligent to know the "state of his flocks," and he looks well to what he has and to what he is responsible for. (Ruth 3:2, Proverbs 27:23)

 

3. He is Generous.  Generosity is such a great quality because it gives love to all those around.  And, it's not giving things away for nothing, it is giving to those in need and sharing something that could really help another person. (Ruth 2:14, 15, 16)

4. He Protects. I think every woman desires a man who will protect her and look out for her. (Ruth 2:9)

5. He is Compassionate.  He feels for other people, he shows kindness to the poor, the marginalized, and looks for ways to help those in need. This probably comes with the generosity quality. (Ruth 2:8)

6. Clear on his intentions when he makes up his mind.   He also does what he intends, and does it right away.  Decisiveness and clarity are important in family life, the working world and social circles.  A guy who tries his best to hone these skills should be admired. (Ruth 3:15, 17, 18) 

7. Transparent and upfront.  When handling things, he does what is right.  He doesn’t try to short cut or deceive.  He has strategy and executes with integrity. (Ruth 3:12, 4:1, 4:4)

These are some admirable qualities to have, and the hope for all of us is that these qualities can be developed if we put our minds to it.  If you are a woman and find a man like this, he may be worth taking a risk for.  However, we all need to be reminded that a good catch is also looking for a good match.  So, this may be just as important, if not more, that we work on ourselves to be prepared for that special opportunity.

What to Look for in A Girl

Last year, I posted a 4-part series on Finding Love, starting with Finding Love: the who.  This year, I would like to expound on the actual character qualities to look for and to treasure in both genders.  If you already are in a relationship or are married, then these are probably just as relevant since you can see how you measure up! 

So fellas, what qualities should you look for in a girl?  What qualities will make her a good wife? It's not easy finding a girl, especially one who has a list of virtuous qualities.  This is why her price is far above rubies, and finding her is like finding a treasure.  Btw, this is not a list that I came up with, these are qualities described in Proverbs 31: The Virtuous Woman.

The List.

1. She is diligent, diligent, diligent.  If your woman is not diligent, boy you probably will be facing a lot of heartache, and she will be expensive because you will have to pay for what she doesn't do (or be tired and do it yourself).  (Proverbs 31:13, 18, 27)

2. Provides food for her family even if difficult or is far away.  She is a provider, rather than one who depends on the guy to do the work that she could be doing. (Proverbs 31:14)

3. Doesn’t think only about herself but for the welfare of her family.  As with any leader, good decisions made are usually best for the group and not for him/herself. (Proverbs 31:15)

4. She can labor.  It comes with the diligence. (Proverbs 31:17) 

5. She has compassion for those in need.  She reaches out her hand to them. (Proverbs 31:20)

6. She is confident in her preparation. (Proverbs 31:21)

7. She is good at business and real estate.  She will be profitable to you. (Proverbs 31:16, 24)
 
8. She acts with wisdom. (Proverbs 31:26)

9. She speaks with kindness. (Proverbs 31:26)

The above list is a high bar.  And, as women, we only can keep working on ourselves to aspire towards this.  But, if you are a guy and can find a woman with many of these qualities, better not delay in an efficient market. She will do you good and not evil all the days of her life.

At Your Door

Time is flying by and I have been crazy busy!  But alas, we are now in February, and with Valentines' Day coming up, it's time for one of Finding Food or Love's favorite topics - LOVE!  (hence the name)

I have a good friend, Samantha Lee, who I have had the pleasure of working with on some videos.  She writes poetry and one of her recent poems and now videos is called At Your Door.  I actually helped her film this video, which was a lot of fun and I have discovered how much I like the creative side!  Take a look, it's about love that one person feels, but the other does not agree.  An ever continuing conundrum for those who are single, the ones who you like, don't like you.  And the ones who like you, you just don't feel the same about.

So the search for love continues....

Video: At your door, poetry by Samantha Lee