Red Flags Before Marriage - Part II

Part II. To read first part: Red Flags Before Marriage - Part I

Continuing on about red flags before marriage we should not ignore.  We should never marry unless we are willing to put the needs of others above our own.  As a single person, it is really easy to think how being with this other person will make ME happy, ME not lonely, and ME feel loved.  Although we all need these things and "receive" in a relationship, it can't be about ME if we want a truly loving, lasting relationship.  The other person can't be our servant.  It won't work, as many married people say.  To love is to sacrifice, which the movies don't focus on or emphasize enough.  Sacrifice is never  easy.



The four red flags I noted in the previous post can also be found in verses in Proverbs.

A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may express itself. (Proverbs 18:2). This kind of person is only interested in expressing him/her -self.

As the door turns upon his hinges, so doth the slothful upon his bed. (Proverbs 26:14)  This is the lazy.  Isn't the imagery great??  

The sluggard is wiser in his own conceit than seven men that can render a reason. (Proverbs 26:16).  Sanity is the ability to know who we really are.

See a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him. (Proverbs 26:12)  The fool won't be open to hearing about his/her faults because he/she thinks he is wiser than you are.  This is life in a bubble.



So, where does this leave us...Where is our hope for making due with what we have or making us better?


1) Understand one another.  Nagging won't do it, and neither will judging.  No one can change another person.  Let God do it.  Accept your mate and gain unity.  Be willing to sacrifice, giving up all your rights to get over conflict.  This is not speaking of an abusive relationship.  An abusive relationship needs help immediately.

2) Get on the same page morally, spiritually and goals. Sympathize with one another.  Be quick to admit your wrong and ask for forgiveness.

3) Do not render evil for evil in the marriage relationship or any relationship.  People are more anxious to get even than to glorify God in a relationship.  This probably ties to the whole sacrifice concept - even when we have a right to get even, if we truly want this relationship to work out, we are willing to put aside those rights and seek for resolution or better understanding.


Sources:
Red Flags You Probably Missed - Dr. Erwin Lutzer