Marriage Advice

Earlier this summer, I went to a casual talk and heard some really great advice on life, and in particular, about marriage and what to consider when choosing a life partner.  I think the advice is as sobering for those who are already married, since marriage has so many facets, phases, and challenges. I sat there, feeling like I was drinking out of a fire hose.  The talk was also beyond just marriage, and journeyed through a man's life from when he was a boy to where he is today.  I have the link for the video below.  For those who want a preview, I wrote out a few points below (primarily on the marriage advice part)...

• Insight: you can fall in love with someone whom you should NOT marry.
• Don’t ever marry someone on a promise for what they are going to change.  Going to be a better person, become a hard worker, not be lazy. They need to be successfully dealing with it today.  
• Look for a zeal in life.  Their outlook in life will greatly impact you and your future with that person.  If a man or woman is not actively improving whatever area - providing for a living, taking care of immediate family, etc. - it probably won't be that way in the future.  Don’t marry on the promise.  [However, I would conjecture that this is separate from marrying someone because you see potential, such as you think his character will make him great or something happens that sets her back, but she is facing and dealing with it].
• If you are in a relationship because you don’t think you can do better or "reason" yourself through why you should be with the person rather than why you can’t live without the person, then you are probably in the wrong relationship.
• Know yourself in order to deal with the brokenness in your family and in your potential someone’s family.  If you don’t know yourself and (or can't accept) where you came from, your background, your upbringing and parents, then you won't be able to deal with the brokenness of the other person.

These are only tidbits; the vimeo video link is below.  The speaker is Pastor Erwin Lutzer from Moody Church in Chicago, IL.

The Life Story of Pastor Erwin Lutzer