Finding Love, the start

A request has been made for a piece on finding love (and understandably so since my blog is called FINDING food or love).  We are all aware of that special or dreaded day that is coming upon us: V-Day.  A day of misery for a many lonely souls and a hole in the pocket for those in love (have retailers/restaurants duped everyone on this one?) 

For those who are still in search for love, so many questions remain.  How do we find him/her?  Where do we go to find love?  And, how do we know that we have found that right person (and keep that person around, which may be the tougher challenge)?  A whole movie even has been devoted to the last question (did you see How Do You Know with Reese Whiterspoon?).  Many people said the movie was bad, so I have yet to see it, but I still kind of want to (I have a soft spot for chick-flicks).

So what to do?  Well, for one, I think women in the last couple of generations face a new frontier of life.  Meaning new ways to spend our time, education, shot at a career, sport races to participate in, more disposable income for enjoying what we like, traveling on our own, and I think all these things are great.  I am a direct beneficiary of these marvelous liberties, which give me more perspective, a way to create my own interests and happiness.  However, on the other hand, I think that these things feed a woman's independence and demand, that perhaps don't allow us to fully appreciate and see a man's potential, what it means for a man to lead, for a man to face the pressure of making hard decisions (and, that is what hones them!), and for a man to figure out his needs.  From what I observe, if a man doesn't face pressure, well, he doesn't need to make a decision, take a step, think about something he doesn't want to think about.  I would say they, more than women (on a relative scale), have this tendency.

I see this whole finding love endeavor as a delicate balance.  For a woman, she is to be open, content, ready to give, yet perceptive enough on what kind of guy he really is (after he flexes his muscles or his suaveness) and to not do everything just to keep him around.  For a man, taking the reins on what is best for both parties, making things happen, not being afraid to fail, learning how to be there for her but not over do it, and yet also being perceptive on what kind of person she really is and figure out whether she is the type who is demanding of all his time and life (if so, get out now, you are already in hell).

These traits are important to develop whether you are in a relationship or not (and may be less painful if you are not).  So, whatever your V-Day status is, let's focus on ourselves and be that better person.