Contentment in Love

New year resolutions and goals are in effect!  I am looking forward to and excited about the unknown for 2011!  So much can develop, so many new things can be learned.  Love and better relationships.  Who wouldn't want more of that in 2011?

One thing I am musing about is better relationships stem from more individual contentment.  Many of us are happy for others when they have good news - a new relationship, getting married, having a baby, moving to a new house, getting a new job, etc.  But, don't we sometimes feel happy for them, sad for us?  We didn't find our loved one this year, we didn't find a new job yet, we are still trying to have a baby.  How could the glad tidings of someone else (our friend) cause us to feel pity for ourselves?

So for the start of this year, one of my goals is to spend LESS time on my news feed in Facebook.  Too often, I sift through to see what my friends are up to, and lo and behold, what do I find?  One friend is in love, another had their baby, another got married, another on vacation, another finished a marathon, another, another another...  Where do I find myself?  Inundated with people moving on, doing great things.  And, I am sitting at home on Facebook reading the newsreel, in pity.

For one, just by statistics alone, this is bound to happen.  Think about it, if you have about 300 friends (and most of us have more than that many friends on Facebook), don't you think the chances of people in the 300+ friend circle is bound to have more going on in their collective lives than any one of us in our own life?  Statistically speaking, we are all bound to feel some pity. 

But, I think a greater issue is at hand -- happiness is not in just limiting my exposure to what others are doing.  It starts with how content I am.  If all the world but me got rich and lived the opulent life, but I were content to start with, I would logically be content even watching them live it up (until the "it" starts to come down; as we say in finance, what goes up must come down).  And, this very contentment will become the foundational block in all my relationships - whether marriage, friend, family, whatever.  This contentment will give me freedom and joy in whatever state I am in.  Because it doesn't matter where others are, it only matters where I am and who I am.

Two very insightful verses from the Bible.  God had it all along:

"For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."
2 Corinthians 10:12

"And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth."
Luke 12:15

btw, friends, please still put up your Facebook posts - I love to see what is going on. :)

Healing for the hurting heart

A continuation on love from Bob Moeller’s talk.  Why is a recognizing a hardened heart so important?  For one, unresolved pain will block our ability to give and receive love.  We will look to the other person to fix us.  We will step on each other’s pain for a lifetime (or choose to leave).  And, if we do marry, we may spend years feeling like we married the wrong person.

Bob had a pretty interesting insight: If we come from a troubled or dysfunctional home, 90% of us will marry our most difficult parent. 

I have definitely seen this.  Unfortunately…

Is there hope?  Yes there is!!  A softened heart is the way back.  God’s solution is to bring healing.  Bob goes into many verses.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me…He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted…” Isaiah 61:1

“I will give you a new heart and a new spirit in you.  I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26

Ask God to examine your heart (Psalm 139:23-24).  Confess every area of hardness of heart and sin to God and to someone you trust (James 5:16).  Forgive people who have damaged your heart.  Ask Him to soften and heal your heart (Psalm 51:10). 

This blog entry is for all the broken people out there in the world.  I wish the misery would stop.  We all need healing.